Being in a relationship, no matter its type: a romantic relationship, a business relationship, a parent-child relationship, comes with a lot of emotional implications.
As an escort, you can have a bigger predisposition to gaslighting, since you interact with different types of men, most of whom tend to drag you down to their level so that they can regain the position of power over you and the feeling that they control your emotional reactions. These individuals gaslighting you can be your agent, your escort agency rep, your partner, your close friend, or even a family member.
What is gaslighting and are you a victim of it?
But first things first, let’s clarify what gaslighting is. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that done repeatedly over the course of time can deeply affect your self-esteem and self-confidence.
And that’s exactly what a toxic person that practices gaslighting is looking to obtain – a weaker version of you, a version that he can easily manipulate while acting like a puppeteer, feeling a sense of power over you, that he uses to feed his own insecurities!
Abuser and Bully Alert!
The person that is doing the gaslighting is an abuser and a bully. He/She doesn’t have your best interest in mind, is not looking to help you improve, to help you succeed, to help you get better. He only wants to thrive and feel better about himself by belittling you. And that’s the last thing you need…to become less only for someone to be more, to self-doubt your every step and decision, only for someone else to feel powerful and strong.
What a person does by gaslighting you is make you question everything, even your own perception of reality, your beliefs, the way that you know things took place, or should happen, only to manipulate you and make you fully dependable on them.
The red flags of gaslighting
So, take a minute and analyze what is happening around you, who are the persons surrounding you, and how are they making you feel.
If you feel dependent on a certain person if you feel that your own worth as an escort, or as a person depends on the actions and words of a close person from your entourage if you feel like you can’t do anything on your own, if you doubt your value as a human being or as a professional escort, then these are all major red flags!
Someone is gaslighting you and is doing it to keep you trapped, to “mute” you, to control you, your escorting business, your money, and your life.
How do you spot a person that’s gaslighting you?
· Always twists events and things that you’ve said to make the blame fall on you
· When you state your thoughts or emotions regarding something you are being called overly “sensitive” “crazy” or “hysterical”
· Denies the way that you recollect an event that took place, making you question your own memories and the way that you perceive reality
· Puts words into your mouth, insisting that you said or did something that you actually didn’t, with such intensity and confidence that makes you reconsider everything that took place.
Have you been gaslighted in the past? Here’s how it can manifest:
· Low self-confidence that you can do or accomplish anything on your own
· Constant feelings of anxiety and nervousness
· The sense that you are losing your identity; you don’t know who you are anymore, without that person whispering in your ear
· Self-blame for anything going wrong around you
· Feeling the need to constantly apologize to others
· Wondering if you’re too emotional or sensitive over everything that happens in your daily life.
Do you find yourself in the situations we’ve presented above? If so, find the courage and strength to separate yourself from the ones gaslighting you, even if we are talking about someone that supports you in your escorting activities, your life partner, or someone from your family.
Seek professional help from a therapist and try to surround yourself with people that appreciate you and see your value without feeling the need to constantly criticize or belittle you.
We hope this article will come to your aid and will be useful for you or for someone in your entourage, and we are eager to receive your advice or your stories on this topic of gaslighting.
Thank you for standing up against abuse and Bullies. You rock!
Wow that sounds like the guy I've been with for almost 5 years! I'm always questioning his actions they never match his words. Since I met him, I've installed camera, I can't sleep cause he's smokes meth and never does so he's up ALL night pilfering threw my stuff. He lives in my house I've bonded him outta jail 8 times already never lays for anything. Can do done ease explain WHY I stay with him. I'm not stupid and have a bachelor's degree. However I'm in this and can t get out!